


Parallels

by Pestiset



Series: Longer Than Forever [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, I'm not going to try and fix alchera, ME2, ME3, and beyond, featuring an OC, its canon, sporadic updating sorry, taken out major character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pestiset/pseuds/Pestiset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the nearly three years between Alchera and the Reapers invading Earth, how did Kaidan get to be the second human spectre? An AU retelling of ME2 and beyond. Efforts are made to remain *mostly* canon compliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Media Vita In Morte Sumus

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of the version of Parallels I previously published on FFN (also hosted there). It remains in the same universe/continuity as Forever and Always, which is not (necessarily) required reading. Drabbles and other associated bits can be found on my tumblr. Italics indicate thoughts of characters. Those of you who have come via tumblr will recognize the end of the chapter.

Citadel, 11 April 2183, 1930 hours.

“Anderson. We need to talk.”

Captain, now Councillor Anderson looked up from the datapad he was studying with a frown.

“Right now Udina? Can't it wait until the morning?”

The other man scowled, and sat down in the chair opposite him without waiting to be invited.

“We need another Spectre. We've gained a seat on the Council, but we're still on the back foot in regards to humanity's interests. Another Spectre would...”

Anderson raised an eyebrow, cutting Udina off mid sentence. Placing the datapad on the arm of his chair, he steepled his fingers and leant forward, studying the other man. Udina shifted under the scrutiny.

“Shepard has only been a Spectre for four months. You know as well as I do that that is no time at all in galactic politics. We have only had a seat on the Council for six weeks. We can't push for anything right now, not with the rebuild.”

Udina stiffened, jutting his chin forward.

“It's the perfect time, Councillor. We can take advantage of the chaos and increase humanity's influence. We need someone who will follow orders, Shepard is too much of an uncertainty, and could become a liability with all this Reaper shit...”

“Look out there Udina!” Anderson snapped, waving his hand towards the window. “Look at the damage. That was no Geth ship, that was something else entirely. A Reaper. Like it or not, Shepard is right.” He paused, gritting his teeth. “Besides, there is only one Alliance operative who currently meets the standards for Spectre candidacy and I'm damned sure she would tell you where to shove it.”

“I think Alenko needs to be a Spectre.” Udina muttered, avoiding Anderson's gaze.

Anderson sighed.

“Weren't you listening? Darcy is the only person we've got anywhere near Shepard's level currently on the active duty roster, and she's even less directable than Shepard! Alenko would be a good candidate, but not for a couple of years. He's only a staff lieutenant, he hasn't even had his own command, let alone the lone wolf skills needed to be a Spectre.”

The other man had grimaced at the mention of Darcy.

“Regardless of her skill, I don't feel that Darcy is a good choice. The woman is a PR nightmare. Sure she's that marvellous surgeon, but those black ops missions? We had a hard enough time  suppressing her activities on Torfan.”

Anderson scowled.

“You know as well as I do that Darcy had very few alternative options on Torfan. We needed a dirty job done and she is one of the most... efficient soldiers the Alliance has.”

“And I also know that she was utterly ruthless in the choices she made. That's what I was talking about.” Udina stared at Anderson defiantly. “Alenko is the best candidate. End of story.”

“I'll think about it. Get out of my office Udina.” 

As Udina stormed out, Anderson sagged back into his chair. As much as he hated to admit it, Udina had a point. Alenko would make a good Spectre, however he needed his own command first. He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, then stood rapidly. Striding over to his desk he fired up the terminal and started composing a message to Admiral Hackett.

Citadel, 12 April 2183, 1000 hours.

Anderson looked up from his desk as the door to his office hissed open.

“Admiral,” he said, rising and gesturing to the seat on the other side of his desk. “Have a seat.”

“Thank you Councillor,” Hackett commented, and lowered himself into the chair. “You wanted to  discuss reassigning Lieutenant Alenko? Personally, I'm loathe to do that, Shepard's team functions very well, albeit unconventionally.”

“I don't disagree with you Admiral,” Anderson replied, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. "However, Udina has suggested that Alenko would make a suitable spectre candidate."

"Surely he means in a few years? Alenko just doesn't meet the criteria right now." Hackett remarked, propping his elbow on the arm of the chair. The other man shook his head.

"He means right now. I agree with you though, Alenko just isn't ready." Anderson paused, swiping through several screens on a nearby datapad. "That's why I wanted to propose transferring him to operations. Darcy doesn't have an immediate subordinate currently, and I believe that they would be a good fit."

"Darcy was a trainer at the academy in Rio for a while wasn't she? She did have a good rapport with the biotic candidates. Would she take Alenko though, hasn't her last trainee been recently reassigned?" Hackett said thoughtfully, idly scratching at his chin.

"Jacob Taylor? He has, but it was at her suggestion. They got on fairly well, she handpicked him from the Corsairs, but found after a few months he was disillusioned with the black ops work the Corsairs and Darcy are used for. He also struggled to deal with the months of downtime between missions, he wanted to be out doing something, helping people. A few words in the right places and Darcy got him a transfer to Eden Prime. As I understand it, he has resigned as a marine after the attack." Anderson paused, frowning slightly. "There is another reason I'm inclined to shift Alenko."

"Fraternization regs?" the other man supplied with a smirk.

Anderson nodded silently.

"In all honesty Stephen, I have no proof, just a hunch."

Hackett shifted in his chair, before meeting Anderson's eyes.

"I saw them together in Vancouver a fortnight ago. She looked  _happy_ David, God knows how long it's been since Hannah or I saw her smile like that..."

"Hannah or I?"

He cleared his throat. "You know what I mean. She's always been a good kid, and she was definitely the victim of the fraternization regs growing up in the fleet. I don't care what relationship she has with Alenko, I just want her team to function well and for her to be happy." He winced. "However, her decision on Virmire could come under intense scrutiny if the media, specifically al-Jilani, catch wind of their relationship."

Anderson hmmed in response, and turned his chair to look out the wide window behind him.

Hackett pushed himself out of his chair and stood.

"Quite frankly David, Shepard is a spectre. At the end of the day how her team functions is not my responsibility, it's yours. If you want Alenko off the Normandy and trained by Darcy, that's your decision to make. I'll sign on the dotted line, though I'd suggest running it by Darcy first. She's played the game for long enough, her instincts are sound. Councillor."

"Admiral."

With a nod, Hackett turned on his heel and left the office. Anderson drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, then pulled up his omni-tool and typed a rapid message.

Citadel, April 13 2183. 2000 hours.

The apartment door slid silently open as he reached for the doorbell. With a roll of his eyes Anderson stepped into the apartment. It was empty, apart from the sound of running water drifting from the direction of the bedroom. As if on cue, a voice called from the same direction.

"Make yourself at home David, there's some scotch in the drawer of the coffee table. Glasses are in the kitchen. I won't be long."

He grinned and turned to the small kitchen. A brief rummage in a cupboard produced two glasses, and a foray into the depths of the freezer resulted in him finding a long forgotten tray of novelty ice-cubes. He had just finished putting ice in the glasses when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Evelyn, why on earth do you have shark fin shaped ice cubes? What's wrong with normal shaped ones? You could at least keep the icemaker filled up." he asked, turning to face her.

He was met with a smirk.

"Novelty." she replied as she reached out and took one of the glasses.

She sunk onto the closest couch with a sigh; reaching out an arm she fumbled at the coffee table, opening a drawer and pulling out a bottle of rum. She took a swig straight from the bottle before filling her glass.

"Scotch is in there. I've already said that haven't I? Sit down David. Or flop. Flopping is good."

He fished the bottle of scotch out of the drawer and shunted it closed with his foot. Pouring three fingers, he lowered himself into an armchair and studied her. Evelyn Darcy, one of the only people in the entire Alliance military that held a dual vocational designation, was sprawled out along the length of the couch with her arm draped over her face and a set of spectacles dangling from her fingers.

"You didn't turn up to our meeting today." he stated, swirling his drink in the glass.

She turned her head, peeking out from under her wrist.

"I had a feeling this wasn't a social call Councillor. I've just finished a 36 hour shift, I was a little preoccupied, and am a lot tired." She jiggled the spectacles. "Hence these. I know you're wondering."

Anderson chuckled.

"I was at that. 36 hours? I thought that was if not illegal, highly discouraged and only residents are expected to do those shifts?"

 "Yeah, I know. Way I see it, residents don't have a huge amount of experience. I have experience, and I don't like subjugating people to horrible shift schedules whilst avoiding them myself. It's not fair, either on the residents or the patients. Exhausted residents make mistakes, and when you're working in a trauma unit mistakes can end badly. Besides, I did get eight hours of downtime."

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Eight hours of downtime?"

Evelyn shrugged. "Yeah, more or less. Technically it was a night shift spent as the senior on-call specialist for the whole hospital, so really it was five hours of high acuity patients and three hours of dozing, followed by a series of surgeries lasting twelve hours. Did you know Eclipse managed to smuggle a shipment of red sand onto the station last night?"

"I hadn't heard about that."

"One of the crates full of the stuff dropped and broke open as it was being unloaded. All the susceptible individuals in a 500 metre radius of that dock went berserk. It was messy." She paused, sitting up and taking another swig of her drink. The spectacles were placed carefully on her nose. "Anyway, this isn't what you came here to talk to me about was it? Hit me."

He pulled a datapad out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"I want you to train the next human spectre."

She stared at him over the top of her glasses, surprised.

"You want me to do what?!"

Anderson pointed at the datapad.

"The details are in there. Humour me and read it."

A few minutes went by in silence, interrupted only by the chink of ice against glass as Anderson took a long swallow of his drink.

"Oh, this guy," Evelyn commented. "I remember this incident, I debriefed the girl that was involved."

"When he killed Vyrnnus? That was in 2169, were you even in the military then?"

He got another sharp look.

"I've been in the medical corps since Shanxi. This was the first SAIS job I did though."

"Really? Evelyn, how old are you?" Anderson asked.

"I'm not telling, it's impolite to ask a lady that" she replied haughtily, and returned her attention to the datapad.

Fifteen minutes later, she pushed the datapad across the table.

"I'll do it."

Amada System, April 14 2183. 1000 hours.

Lieutenant Commander Olivia Shepard sagged in her seat at the terminal in her cabin, closing her eyes against the harsh orange glare of the screen. She was still asleep, this was a bad dream and she would wake up any minute. Preferably snuggled into Kaidan's chest, but right now she would settle for just waking up. She cracked one eye open.

_Fuck._

The message was still there.

**Normandy SR-1 - Crew Manifest Update.**

**Staff Lieutenant Kaidan W. Alenko - reassigned. Orders will be provided upon return to the Citadel.**

**On authority of Admiral S. Hackett.**

_God fucking damn it. That's not fair!_

She scrolled rapidly, hoping that there was an explanation, an apology, anything.

There was.

**Olivia,**

**I'm sorry. The main reason we're doing this is for Kaidan's career progression. He's a good soldier, and it's been noticed. It comes with a promotion to Lieutenant Commander, and you can understand how that would muddy the chain of command on the Normandy. If it's any consolation, his assignment is Citadel based rather than Earth.**

**Hackett.**

**P.S. I saw you in Vancouver a fortnight ago. Your mother and I are happy for you, but Anderson and I are worried about what might happen if al-Jilani gets wind of this relationship. I promised your father that I would keep an eye on you, and I know he'd approve. ... Hannah says stay safe and she'll talk to you soon.**

**SH.**

She allowed herself a small smile as she finished reading the message. At least it wasn't a punishment for fraternization. She didn't fancy telling Kaidan though. Checking the time on her omni-tool, she estimated that they had just entered orbit around Alchera. He would probably be heading to the cockpit, he was on co-pilot duty this shift. Pushing her chair back, she was half wayto standing when an explosion shook the ship.

Scrambling to her feet, she yelled into her omni-tool, "Joker, what the hell just happened?"

The reply was panicked, "We're under attack from an unidentified cruiser. It's not geth..." a crackle of static obscured his next words. "Pressly's down. We've got multiple hull breaches!"

"Copy that Joker," she replied, throwing open the door to her armour locker. "Start the evac."

As she threw herself into her armour, she managed to type the command to initiate the automated distress signal. As she hit the initiate key, Kaidan stumbled through the door of her cabin.

"Shepard, evac is proceeding as ordered, but Joker won't leave the cockpit, I'm going back to get him."

Another explosion rocked the ship, and they both shoved their helmets on. Shepard shook her head.

"I'll go for Joker. Get yourself out."

Even through his helmet she could sense the indecision in his gaze.

"Shepard..." he started, leaning towards her.

"Lieutenant, go!" she shouted, pushing past him.

There was only a brief hesitation before his reply.

"Yes ma'am."

Amada System, 14 April 2183. 1037 hours.

It was a surreal feeling, watching a ship as large as the Normandy disintegrate into flames in complete and utter silence. Kaidan narrowed his eyes and squinted through the small view port, hoping, even praying to catch a glimpse of another life pod, confirmation that she was safe, that she wasn’t on the Normandy as it disintegrated. He slipped his hand into a pocket of his armour, and pulled out the slip of paper with her name on it that Ash had given him on Valentine's Day. Reading her name over and over again, he couldn’t bear not knowing if she was safe. He activated his omni-tool, and opened the private comm. channel Shepard had insisted he set up.

“Shepard, are you safe?” he whispered urgently. 

A gasping breath in response suggested otherwise. His heart sank.

 “Shepard? What happened?”

 “Kaidan… I got Joker out… we got separated.” she cut off, gasping for air. “My suit… it’s been damaged… I’m losing air fast … I can’t…. I can’t breathe Kaidan!”

 He sucked in a harsh breath, and crumpled the slip of paper in his fist. Chakwas shot him a worried look across the aisle, and he could feel Liara’s eyes burning into the back of his head.

_What the fuck am I going to do now?_

 “Livy, take deep slow breaths,” he said into his comm., surprised at how calm his voice was. “Help is coming, you’re going to be alright.”

“I can’t! There’s… not enough air. … This… isn’t how I wanted to go Ash… Kaidan.” Her voice was becoming weaker, her breathing harsher. “I lo… lov… love… you. I’m sor… sorry Kaidan.”

 Kaidan clawed at the release of his helmet, crushing the heels of his palms into his eyes as soon as he pulled it off.

 “Please, just hold on… Help won’t be far away. Livy? Livy?!”

 He never got a reply, just ragged gasps trailing off into silence.

_I love you too. Please, don’t go where I can’t follow. Please._

 He shrugged off Chakwas’ hand, and pressed his forehead against the small view port.

 “Kaidan?” Liara’s voice was anxious, tentative.

 He closed his eyes, fighting to stay in control.

 “She’s gone.”

 A single tear rolled down his cheek as he heard the others in the pod react. He squeezed the paper in his hand tight, and it stayed there as his heart shattered into pieces. 


	2. Primum Non Nocere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having some formatting issues, hopefully it doesn't look like a giant block of text. There are meant to be paragraphs there, honest!

_Beep. Beep. BEEP. BEEP. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP._

“Anderson.” he answered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he caught sight of the time, Kahlee rolling away from him with a sigh.

“Councillor, we have a situation in the Amada system.” Hackett’s voice was tense, worried.

“Amada?” Anderson swung his legs out of bed, grabbing for the clothes tossed over the back of a nearby chair. “The Normandy?”

“We received a distress call from the Normandy about an hour ago, and we have heard nothing since. We are unable to raise the crew.” Hackett replied.

“Shit.” Anderson stared at his omni tool, grinding his teeth. “What do you need Admiral?”

A hiss of static, broken after what felt like hours.

“All members of the medical corps are being recalled from the recovery work they have been doing on the Citadel to the SSV Passchendaele. They will rendezvous with the 63rd Scout Flotilla and the SSV Warsaw near Omega in 48 hours, before proceeding to the Amada system. I need you to ensure that no-one perceives this mission as a threat.”

“I can do that.” He shoved his feet into his pants. “Do you think Shepard’s…”

“I don’t know David,” Hackett replied. “We don’t know what we’ll find out there. We can only hope it’s not as bad as it could be.”

…

Whirling snow. The crunch of boots on the ice. Joker huddled in the middle of an empty life pod, incoherent with pain. The tingle that precipitated ... _no! Not again!_

The screech of tearing metal, and the numbness of a stasis field.

…

"Doctor! I think he's coming round!"

"Pull that curtain Anders; I don't think he needs to see Moreau right now."

Cold fingers on his temples, gently holding his head.

"Lieutenant Alenko? Kaidan? Can you open your eyes for me?"

Green eyes looking down on him.

_Not her. Wrong green._

"Too bright" he croaked. His hands were bound to the bed.

The eyes leant closer, a lock of hair brushed his cheek.

"What was that Kaidan?" she asked, almost straight into his ear.

He jerked his head away, the words echoing in his skull.

"Too bright. Hands?"

Green eyes disappeared, and the light dimmed. Someone removed the restraints from his wrists and cold fingers sought his pulse.

"Kaidan, I'm Doctor Ev..."

He didn't hear the rest of the sentence as he shoved her away and rolled to the side of the bed, a retch tearing its way out of his throat. Green eyes hastily shoved a paper bowl in front of him, and he emptied the little that was in his stomach, hanging limply over the edge of the bed fighting to catch his breath.

Cold fingers brushed his hair off his forehead and settled on the back of his neck. The bowl disappeared, and cold fingers gently wiped around his mouth with a cool cloth. Green eyes looked up at him, their owner crouching below him.

Green eyes had cold hands. She gave him a lopsided smile, tugging at a scar along her jawline.

“Welcome back,” she commented, letting her hand drop from the back of his neck to rest on her knee. “I’m Doctor Evelyn Carter, from the medical corps. You are on board the SSV Passchendaele in the Intensive Care Unit. How are you feeling Kaidan?”

“Like shit. Migraine.” He answered hoarsely, rolling back onto the bed and slinging his arm across his eyes.

“No pain anywhere else? Do you mind if I quickly examine you?” she asked softly, gently pressing his abdomen as he shook his head.

“I don’t mind,” he murmured, hissing as her fingers brushed the skin over his hip. “You’ve got cold hands.”

A quiet huff of laughter. “So I’ve been told, sorry, nearly done. How bad is your migraine?”

“Pretty bad. It feels like it’s on its way out though.”

“If you were to rate it out of ten, zero b…”

“Being no pain and ten being the worst I’ve experienced? About an 8.”

Another huff of laughter and she pulled the sheet back up over his chest. “Somehow I get the feeling that’s not the first time you’ve been asked that. What do you normally take for the pain?”

He pulled his arm off his eyes and squinted up at her. Dr Carter had opened her omni tool and was leaning against the side of his bed.

“Don’t you have a copy of my most recent prescription on record?”

She looked at him sharply, tapping at her omni tool.

“I do, but it’s a very complex prescription. You’re prescribed about five different medications, I haven’t seen some of these in years by the way, which I’ve carried over, but because you’re a medic you’ve been granted control of the doses and combinations. So, really what I’m asking is what combination of meds and doses do you normally take?”

He grunted, dropping his arm across his eyes.

“600mg of gabapentin twice a day, Eletripan 40mg when I feel one starting, another 40 if it’s sticking around longer than a couple of hours. OxyContin 20mg every four hours if I can’t handle it. I don’t take the others.”

Dr Carter hummed and tapped at her tool some more.

“Gabapentin? That seems like an odd choice. That’s not normally prescribed for migraines…”

“It seems to work fairly well. Doesn’t stop the attacks but it keeps the more persistent pain at bay.”

“Good.” Dr Carter patted his hand where it rested on top of the sheet. “That’s the important thing. How are you feeling otherwise Kaidan?”

“Otherwise?” he spat, sitting bolt upright in bed and squinting at her. “Are you a shrink as well? What makes you think that I’m not fine?”

She didn’t flinch back, watching him calmly until he sank back onto the mattress.

“You have every reason to be not fine Kaidan. Every reason in the wor…” She broke off at a moan of pain from the other end of the room, twisting to look over her shoulder at a curtained off space.

“Doctor!” A nurse poked her head out from behind the curtain. “Mr Moreau is coming round, and we haven’t got any more pain relief charted. Can you please come and prescribe some?”

Dr Carter nodded once, and glanced back at Kaidan.

“I’ll try and talk to you later Kaidan,” she murmured, before walking rapidly away, tapping furiously at her omni tool.

He closed his eyes, pleading silently to any deity that would listen.

_I can’t listen to her die again. Please, make it stop._

…

He jerked awake at the feeling of a blood pressure cuff being inflated around his arm, gasping for air, as Olivia’s dying breaths echoed in his ears.

“Sorry Lieutenant,” a male voice murmured, a hand on his shoulder gently encouraging him to lie down. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Anders, can call me Andy if you like, I’m one of the interns.”

“The Alliance has interns now?” Kaidan groaned, twisting to bury his face in the pillow.

“Mind your IV!” Andy gasped, reaching out to secure the line that threatened to come free. “But yes, offered me a rather good package. They put me through med school and in return I have to serve in the Medical Corps for five years. But that’s not a bad thing, apart from the lack of cats.”

“Cat person huh?”

He could hear the grin in the other man’s voice as he replied.

“Yeah! Cats are great, I had an illicit one when I was at med school but I had to give him away when I qualified. Called him Pounce.” Andy trailed off briefly, seeming to struggle with something before forging ahead. “Lieutenant, you were talking in your sleep. Is… is there anything you want to get off your chest?”

Kaidan sighed, pressing his forehead into the pillow. He could tell the intern no, and he would leave him alone, but it would only delay the inevitable. He’d probably have to rehash it any number of times in psychological review, and have to figure out a sensible reason for having a private com channel with Olivia. Shepard, not Olivia. No one could know about that, and the best lies are as close to the truth as possible.  

“This is covered under patient confidentiality?”

“Yes. One moment.” There was a quiet grinding noise, and the creak of a chair as Andy settled close to Kaidan’s head. “Carry on Lieutenant,” he said quietly.

“Do you have any knowledge of what happened to me at Jump Zero?” Kaidan asked, voice muffled by his pillow.

“Only that you received an L2 series implant.” Andy replied, leaning on the edge of the mattress.

“I also killed one of the instructors in a fit of rage. It wasn’t intentional, and no charges were laid, but I still lost control and killed a man.” Kaidan rolled over onto his side, studying the other man. “Commander Shepard and I maintained a private com link, one which was off the main frequency and enabled us to pass sensitive information back and forth without involving the rest of the fire team.”

Andy raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”

“After we evacuated, I hailed the Commander to check her status. I was aware that Flight Lieutenant Moreau had refused to evacuate the cockpit, and the Commander had gone to encourage him. I had hoped they were both safe. Instead, I listened to the Commander die of asphyxiation. Then, when we found the life pod with Moreau in it, I nearly killed him. I don’t know what happened after that.”

Andy sighed, steepling his fingers and propping his chin on them. “You were restrained by the Asari, Liara T’soni, and sedated by Doctor Chakwas. You remained under sedation until we arrived twelve hours later, and then remained under sedation until Doctor Carter determined that you were stable enough to wake.”

“Oh. I see.” Kaidan rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “What happens now?”

“We will dock at the Citadel in eight hours,” Andy replied, standing next to the bed. “After that, I imagine it will be countless debriefings, psych evals, and probably reassignment. I suspect there will also be a memorial service for Commander Shepard. Is there anything else you wished to discuss?”

“No. Thank you Andy.”

The other man moved away, leaving Kaidan alone with his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't say goodbye,  
> Don't say I didn't try.  
> \- Gollum's Song; Emiliana Torrini


End file.
